Ever have one of those days where you are constantly frustrated about...well...pretty much everything? Yep...that's been my week. Back in my live-at-home days, I used to laugh at people who "moved out in faith" and then couldn't find a job. I used to find it so hilarious that they got stressed about finances when obviously it was because they just hadn't planned ahead. But here I sit...in a beautiful two-story house...with no job...no prospects...no church family...and a rapidly dwindling bank account. Suddenly, the humor that I used to find in this kind of situation is gone. Replacing it is a growing feeling of dread and fear about what is going to come next. I can't move back home...I'm 24 and have been ready to be on my own for at least 5 years. There is no way I can move back in with my family and maintain my sanity. I could move back south to some job offers there, but that really is not attractive. The pay is great...the people are ok...but everyone and everything I love and need to have close is here. So what do I do? I've applied at pretty much every place around here short of fast food restaurants. Some places just haven't replied...others have made "promises" and then disappeared...others have just been noncommittal. On all the application questionnaires, I've been asked at least once if I often lose my temper. I always want to write, "No...but if you don't hire me I might!" I find myself praying more and more often: "Lord, you opened the doors for me to come here; please don't close them already. I've been here for just one week, don't shut me down so fast. I love this town, I love the people I'm around...just let me stay." But at the same time, I know that if that door does close, I'll have to go. I spent enough years fighting His will. I can't do that anymore.
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